The Role of Children in the Today’s Japanese Family
Although it is true that the rates of children born to women of reproductive age have been pretty low, children are wanted, both in an extended family and a nuclear family. As is said “Kodomo tachi no tameni”, or for the sake of the children, children play an important role in the Japanese family. However, problems related to children are occurring one after another, as TVs and newspapers are heatedly dealing with. People are no longer surprised at the news, such as a son killed his mother, or a seemingly normal high school student was proved to be a murder. Why are they crazy? “For the sake of the children” can be an excuse used by adults; they may be ignoring what their children are trying to convey both in an extended family and a nuclear family.
First of all, especially in an extended family, the elder often use the phrase “for the sake of the children” as an excuse. It is the elder who control over the family as White says in her book. Usually, they are conservative; they do not want a wife of their son to work, ask her to look after them, and expect her to take care of her children at home. In fact, they think it is embarrassing if the neighborhood knows a wife works full time, and children and the elders are left. Today, however, more and more women want to work. In response to the attitude of the elder, there may emerge quarrels and antagonism between the elder and a wife, explicitly or implicitly. What is worse, children can feel this disharmony within the house, and feel depressed.
Second of all, in a nuclear family, children are focused more than in an extended family. Especially if a mother does not work, or works part time, she takes care of her children very carefully, sometimes namely “kahogo”, overprotection; children take lessons in various arts and mother knows well what their children do for the sake of the children. Because of such overprotection, children sometimes feel oppressed. On the other hand, children whose parents work are usually allowed to manage time by themselves. Parents rarely know what their children do every day, and families seldom eat together. Parents just give their children some money to spent, or let them work part time. They think this way of raising children can be an advantage for them in their future although some children feel that they are alone. There may be families between those two types.
In conclusion, children are wanted and special for their parents and families. Both in an extended family and a nuclear family, adults are like “for the sake of the children.” Some are overprotective, and others do not care very much. Although it is unclear whether their various ways of rearing children are effective and good for their children, it is also doubtful whether adults know how their children think about it. Unless they know it, their ways of raising children for the sake of the children are not for the sake of the children, and can be excuses of adults; the elder may want to avoid neighbor’s criticisms, an overprotective mother may get their children to do what she wants them to do, and working parents may do not want to bother to care their children.
Although it is true that the rates of children born to women of reproductive age have been pretty low, children are wanted, both in an extended family and a nuclear family. As is said “Kodomo tachi no tameni”, or for the sake of the children, children play an important role in the Japanese family. However, problems related to children are occurring one after another, as TVs and newspapers are heatedly dealing with. People are no longer surprised at the news, such as a son killed his mother, or a seemingly normal high school student was proved to be a murder. Why are they crazy? “For the sake of the children” can be an excuse used by adults; they may be ignoring what their children are trying to convey both in an extended family and a nuclear family.
First of all, especially in an extended family, the elder often use the phrase “for the sake of the children” as an excuse. It is the elder who control over the family as White says in her book. Usually, they are conservative; they do not want a wife of their son to work, ask her to look after them, and expect her to take care of her children at home. In fact, they think it is embarrassing if the neighborhood knows a wife works full time, and children and the elders are left. Today, however, more and more women want to work. In response to the attitude of the elder, there may emerge quarrels and antagonism between the elder and a wife, explicitly or implicitly. What is worse, children can feel this disharmony within the house, and feel depressed.
Second of all, in a nuclear family, children are focused more than in an extended family. Especially if a mother does not work, or works part time, she takes care of her children very carefully, sometimes namely “kahogo”, overprotection; children take lessons in various arts and mother knows well what their children do for the sake of the children. Because of such overprotection, children sometimes feel oppressed. On the other hand, children whose parents work are usually allowed to manage time by themselves. Parents rarely know what their children do every day, and families seldom eat together. Parents just give their children some money to spent, or let them work part time. They think this way of raising children can be an advantage for them in their future although some children feel that they are alone. There may be families between those two types.
In conclusion, children are wanted and special for their parents and families. Both in an extended family and a nuclear family, adults are like “for the sake of the children.” Some are overprotective, and others do not care very much. Although it is unclear whether their various ways of rearing children are effective and good for their children, it is also doubtful whether adults know how their children think about it. Unless they know it, their ways of raising children for the sake of the children are not for the sake of the children, and can be excuses of adults; the elder may want to avoid neighbor’s criticisms, an overprotective mother may get their children to do what she wants them to do, and working parents may do not want to bother to care their children.
